The idea of a cruise seemed really extravagant to me. It also seemed artificial. Like you don’t actually get to experience the culture – just hop off the boat for a little excursion and then run back with your tail between your legs.
I got smart when my travel assistant explained to me some of the virtues of taking a cruise. Most of the time you are completely cut off from the Internet. I said “That’s not a virtue! That is crazy! I haven’t, I can’t – there is no way!” Then it dawned on me – no work at all. What a strange idea. No calls from the office. No sneaking to log in to just do a little bit of work. No checking email. No strategic tweets. No networking. When you say it like that it sounds so scary – like a broad pit opening up before me with nothing but… Free time. What madness.
But it gets better – My Director of Business Travel let me in on a little secret. After a man passes the age of 8 he can never go on a vacation that someone else plans – that means your accountable for the whole family – if they aren’t having fun guess whose job it is to entertain them. If the hotel sucks guess who has to find another one who finds the restaurants attractions local fauna culture help! I’m gasping for breath as the waves of an anxiety attack spread through my body – “STOP IT!” I tell my cruise director, “You’re giving me vertigo!”
“That’s just it,’” he says “you go on a cruise and you don’t have to do any of that.”
Oh my god I’m in – where do I sign?